Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 5/11/2012
Blue.
What comes to mind when I say the word?
I think of my squad color, and our plots to win the upcoming squad wars.
I think of the color I last saw when I looked up and the smile it brings to my face.
I think of Madam Blueberry from VeggieTales, which my whole family loves.
I think of the ocean I miss like a fish out of water.
Lastly, I think of how sometimes I just feel blue.
Yesterday I was asked, "How's your day?" maybe dozens of times (I work as a hostess), a few times by friends who really meant it. About midway through the day my answer shifted from "great" to not-so-great. But then it hit me, didn't God make today? Doesn't He make every day good?
I was sad though, still. But a wonderful thing happened. I was encouraged! I went to the people in my life who are there for me, who care for me. And I realized something, I am not where I have been and I am headed new places. God has done and is doing great things in my life. You see, I wasn't always one to reach out for help or comfort. But God brought me into community and taught me that it was good. If you don't get what I mean, it's a lot to fit into words so I used the term "community," but if you really want to know what I mean by that, ask me! :)
I then began to think on God and what He had already done. In doing so I came up with a bunch of things He had taught me just this week. I decided I also wanted to share those things with you so that you might be encouraged. This isn't really gonna end on a blue note, but I think it's worth reading 'til the end. God just might've had me write something you need to hear.
Judgment.
This was a hard one. I wanted to tell you all about this one, but I need to keep some of it private to protect those I love. I was reading the Bible and I came across the part that talks about judgment, when I had to have a time of confession. Not only was I hardcore judging, but I didn't want to stop.
So I talked to God about it. I had thought that when I saw something that was wrong, I should do what I could to set it right and not let it go until justice was achieved-one way or another. God showed me that this was still judging. Furthermore, He showed me that this wasn't my responsibility either; to set things right.
You see, made in His image we seem to want to judge things for ourselves. Make our own decisions. Make our own declarations of right and wrong, but that's wrong. God gives authority. Out of mercy and justice He gives us authority to exercise as much mercy as we can. That's right, I said mercy. I felt set free when I understood this, because honestly there isn't anything that an imperfect person can set right again.
I also learned about community.
We need it! We also need to know that it's not on us to make people love us or even like us. In fact, we have no control over it! Okay, yes, we can choose to be more likeable. But in the end, God brings people into our lives who will love us in our highs and our lows. So relax, because you can't make everyone happy, and you're not supposed to try. God loves you and accepts you already just as you are, and that will never go away no matter how alone you think you are.
Which reminds me...
No matter what you think, or feel, do your parents ever stop being your parents? Sure, they can choose not to act like your parents, but they can't change that you are their child. Well it's that way with God. Whether you like it or not, feel it or not, or believe it or not, God made you and He loves you. He chose to be your Father, and He chooses to love you. He never changes. Now I'm not really sure how that works, I just know that it is.
Speaking of Fathers,
This was the last-okay, second to last-thing that God taught me this week.
At a Bible study, a group of use were discovering the ways we connect with God most. I feel closest to Him when I am spending time in His creation, the great outdoors.
So the next day I found myself beside a lake thinking about how He made everything. I thought about how I love to create things myself. Then it hit me-we're alike! There's a part of me that I have in common with God! I am like my Father. Not a perfect image, but a reflection. So that's what made in His image means...(and a whole lot of other things). This helped me to understand other things about God I just can't always grasp. The way I feel the need to care for someone who is sick or how my day is brightened by little children. If I take after my Father.... I get it! I get how God is like that. He's so much more, but He is starting to really feel real to me. I am hungry to know Him. I get now that He wants for me to know Him too. He wants that for all of us. His children.
Today
I had a few "poof!" moments (that's the sound your mind makes when it gets blown) today, but I kept them quiet because I was at work. The biggest one was about encouragement and discouragement.
How often do we think about that second one?
There are some people that just seem to bring out the worse sides of me. In short, they bring me down just by my being around them.
Then there are people who make me better. Who just brighten the room and raise up everyone around them. I am fortunate to have these people in my life. I pray I get to be this person for others, and not the other one.
Take work as an example. Aren't there certain people who just rock at their job who make you work harder when you see what they're accomplishing? And don't you seem to like your job better when you spend your time around the people who love that job? It works the other way too.
So I thought about how we are supposed to encourage our brothers and sisters...and it's just like that! We should not only encourage each other with words but in the way we live our lives that others might be able to see how we live and be lifted up.
I want to encourage you to think in everything you do today, do it with a positive attitude and give it all you've got because you affect the people around you. You change the room when you enter it. If you're bringing the Holy Spirit with you, you can be sure you are affecting each person around you. You may have no clue, but you are. So choose to be uplifting, there are already plenty ways for people to be brought down. So shine!
"In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11
| |
|
Posted in General Posts by Leah Johansen on 4/25/2012
Dear Fans,
Just kidding. Friends, I wanna be real with you. Some of you following my blog- I know really well, some of you I may not have met! I take that into consideration when I write and I can sometimes get a little carried away like I'm writing an essay or a novel. That's what keeps me from blogging more often, pressure to be perfect. Sometimes I just want to throw out a post that covers everything random happening in my life at the exact moment. So here it is. Messy. Random. Boring. Fascinating. I don't know, we'll find out.
Laughter.
I just turned to a stack of business cards tucked into my bunkbed bookshelf (yes, I sleep in a bunkbed. This is college.) and read, "Ready to make an impression?" No joke. Well I hope I do. But more importantly, I hope to be myself. I was inspired-oh wait, laughter, yes. I was just struck by a sudden joyful laughter that I've had much of lately. You know when something makes you so happy smiling just doesn't cut it? That's like sunshine or butterfly kisses from Jesus. Best feeling. I hope you all get to experience that. =) Back to inspiration.
I hopped onto some blogs the other day and two in particular really stuck out. The first was about being yourself on the race. The WR is supposed to make you more YOU, not someone else. I was encouraged more than I expected to be. Up until that moment I didn't realize that I had been so worried about fitting in and getting it right that I forgot to make my experience mine. Unique. I'm more excited than ever now.
The second blog reminded me why I am going. It was a blog about one man's life changed by a squad he met about two years ago. It was so beautiful! I started to get this bubbles and butterflies feeling inside of me like I could jump up and down. =D THAT'S why I'm going! Because Jesus changes lives-saves lives. Because Jesus saved my life. That's the kind of love you can't keep to yourself.
Random Time.
The Hunger Games. My pastor put the Hunger Games into his sermon Sunday. You can't wish for things that cool to happen! Although I'm not happy about his siding with Gale...
Pancakes.
I made really yummy pancakes this morning and it just made me think, I can't wait to cook on the Race. I really love it. It's something I am definitely looking forward to, even if it's insignificant.
Dance Party!
I went to a "Ball" last night with my friends at CRU (campus crusade for Christ). Sweet times. Enough said.
Okay, I'd like to share a moment about my aim for my future blogs as I travel the world. I hope to answer all the questions that I have now for all of you back home. I want to give you a true glimpse at what life is like out there. So stay tuned, because this is just beginning.
And finally, let's finish this blog off with some Q&A.
What am I most looking forward to right now?
Training camp/packing my totally legit backpack
My future blogs
Composing a sick awesome book of chords/scrapbook from home
Meeting my squad!
How ready am I?
I am halfway to my support goal for May 5th
I have a pack, a sleeping bag, a guitar, a spork and a passport
I am finally feeling encouraged! I'm ready to do this :)
And the thank you's-
Thank you to everyone who has supported me in every way, to those of you who follow my blog and especially those who keep me in your prayers. I can feel it. Please don't stop.
Most of all, thank you to God my Father in heaven, for never letting go, for encouraging me day after day over and over again, and for loving me just as I am. Thank you Abba, for giving me this adventure of a lifetime and for making me who I am today, yours.
P.S. If you're wondering why "Sneeze Attack" never came up, ha that was just the first title I thought of because I couldn't stop sneezing this morning! I've never sneezed so much in my life. But you know what? I asked God to take it away and its gone, I feel great now! More praises to His Name <3
| |
|
Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 4/23/2012
Last week a good friend told me to look out for miracles. That was the day that God sent me a phone call with a plane ticket to training camp, hours before the deadline. Days later I can't even remember miracle #2-as we called it-because I'm so stoked about miracle #3! OK pause, in actuality there has been so much work from the hand of God revealed to me this week that I can't really count these as more important or more miraculous, just more exciting. :) Unpause. I went to the bank today with another financial crisis in hand and left consumed by joy and awe. Wanna know what happened? (and Oh yeah, #2 was just enough in my paycheck to cover travel insurance. So good.)
I sit down with a lovely young lady named Brittney who proceeds to devote what turns out to be nearly 2 hours of her day to fixing my problems, (only the financial ones unfortunately). She is patient, understanding, and positive. I know what you're thinking- discussing problems with a banker, this scenario is a miracle-but that's not it. It wasn't the vast array of snacks my bank carries. It wasn't even the return of all my crisis induced bank fees. Yep, I'm gonna keep dragging this out. It's fun. ;P
I mentioned to Brittney, like I do whenever possible, that I was leaving the country soon. Somewhere between pleasent conversation and annoying bank calls I got to explain what the World Race was. (This is where is gets good!) She immediately responds, "That's it then! It's Spiritual warfare! You've gotta go. This just means you are gonna do some amazing things and change lives." Bam! Poof! (That's the sound of a mind blown.)
But wait, it get's better. Way better.
Before I know it I'm on the phone with Danielle, my banker's friend. She proceeds to tell me everything she knows from her mission trip to India! Oh, I do have some advice to pass on to anyone stopping by northern India anytime soon.
By the end of the conversation I have both Brittney and Danielle ready to follow my blog around the world, join my daily prayer team, and get involved in my fundraising events! Complete with an offer to reach out to their own social network, and a coffee date set to talk more as soon as we can set a time!
Um can you say God hear's our prayers? All of them.
I am amazed.
I have struggled to stay encouraged like a baby deer trying to walk. Seriously, it's been rough. I couldn't have gotten this far if it wasn't for my incredible friends and squad. Thank you. What I've learned is to never stop crying out to God. In all things, at all times. To ask for prayer from the body. Oh and sometimes it's not all about me.
I understand now that I'm not just going on the World Race, I'm running this race for my family, my friends, the lost and the found. For everyone God brings into my life! Because all of you who follow me get to be a part of it. Everything I learn I get to share with those around me. The struggles I face strengthen other believers faith. Even the waiting has a purpose. So I decided, if my waiting on God means that He get's to come through in a big way that draws everyone near me toward Him, then bring it on!
God works all things together for good for those who love Him, according to His great purpose.
Faithfulness and hope seem to have this ripple effect that can reach out farther than our eyes can see. So when you feel yourself starting to lose it, reach out, reach up, whatever it takes to hold on-because you could be changing lives without knowing it. <3
| |
|
Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 4/17/2012
IT has come to my attention that I have been an awful blogger: It's been nearly two months since I last wrote a blog! For that, I must apologize. Stick with me while I break my bad habits will you? Here's to a new start!
What's been on my mind...
Support.
I get caught here between wondering what I'm doing wrong, and asking God why He isn't blessing me. But the truth is, God has only called me to be faithful. He knows my weaknesses. My tendency to put things off or get overwhelmed. He also knows what encourages me. What makes me come alive. This trip makes me come alive.
God bought me a plane ticket.
Time and time again I have let the big dollar signs hang over me obstructing my view of the amazing things God has already provided.
My passport paid for.
A perfect fitting backpack.
A new lightweight sleeping bag.
A roomy tent.
A plain ticket to training camp.
Even the lime green spork I coveted from REI :)
They ask me: Why?
As I ride the ups and downs of preparing for the adventure of a lifetime, people ask my why I'm sure. Why do I believe I am called? Each time I feel this force push against me I only want to push back harder.
All in.
You see, I've decided to go ALL IN. If Christ is who he says he is, then shouldn't a person give up everything to have Him? There is no point to living lukewarm, in a dull haze. I want to THINK, LEARN, LIVE. I want PURPOSE over comfort.
I want LIFE over luxury.
I want JOY over treasures.
I've told the story many times now.
It started in 10th grade with a side comment to God that the ONLY calling I would never be willing to accept would be a missionary in foreign fields. I added that I even preferred picking up road kill as a career. We can question my possible brain injuries later- my point is, God did a 180 on me. It started with breaking my heart for the Invisible Children, and continued as I followed Jesus to Mexico, Venezuela and Santa Monica CA. I was coming alive. I was experiencing healing, community, love. It was good.
Once trust had begun to erode my fears I learned that I had a passion for travel that went hand in hand with a love of meeting new people and new experiences. I had a heart that was ever breaking for those who didn't know my Savior. I was able to look back and see that these things were in me all along, waiting to be unearthed.
Finding the World Race was like accidentally finding buried treasure.
I've continued to experience God's encouragement and provision in too many ways to count. I could try if you asked. Or you can take my word for it. I am called to GO. Fearlessly. I know it not with my head, but my heart. My soul.
I want to thank each of you for reading my blog and becoming a part of this journey with me. If you also desire to see me succeed in running this race (pun-intended) I'd like to ask that you consider clicking the "Support Me" button. Consider supporting me monthly. Consider telling your friends about my blog. Consider going on the World Race yourself! I am so excited to continue this adventure with you all-
Love and Smiles,
Leah <3
| |
|
Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 2/13/2012
I went searching through my journal today to find a passage I wrote when I was overcome by the pull to go into the world, not only on the World Race. But to follow Jesus wherever he may lead. Into the homes of the broken.
I found it.
I thought it would be fun to go back in time to August 2011 to hear from myself why I am going. Maybe this will be encouragement to all of you who are on your way, or even those of you who think it would be crazy to consider going.
-
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whoever believes in Him will not die, but have everlasting life.”
-
I am sent. Matthew 28:19 “Therefore go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”
-
The need to hear it. Romans 10:14 “How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?”
-
Love God. Love others. Love God=Love others. Matthew 22:37, 39 “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind...Love your neighbor as yourself.”
-
1 John 4:19 “We love because He first loved us.”
-
Matthew 19:29 “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will receive eternal life.”
-
Matthew 9:37 “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.”
-
Matthew 16:24 “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.”
-
1 Corinthians 9:24 “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.”
-
Matthew 26:39 “Yet not as I will, but as you will.”
-
Matthew 25:23 “His master replied, ‘Well done good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with little so I will put you in charge of much. Come and share in your master’s happiness.’”
-
To be a part of bringing Jesus to all the nations. Revelation 7:10 “After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb.”
-
To be like Jesus.
-
Because I have nothing to fear:
Matthew 19:26 “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
Romans 8:38 “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”
Philippians 4:19 “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
"For every page of God’s word is dripping with reason so clear to me only by the Holy Spirit. If this is what I believe, that Jesus is LORD, then it’s time to live with Him on the throne of my life. When I consider my friends and family members, I know that God’s heart breaks for the lost and so should my own. If I were not here, who would preach Jesus to my own loved ones? Are not others’ loved ones, God’s loved ones, just as valuable? He has chosen me. I know now that He is all I need. The world needs Him.
From the treasures stored up in heaven, to the glory of my God, I have more than enough reasons to go. Every reason but comfort. That even, He promises He will give of Himself. Further, I believe I have been designed for this very purpose. It is my passion to speak the gospel shamelessly, fearlessly. To encourage. To go. To dive into new and unknown places. To love even strangers. To serve others with my unique gifts; be it cooking, making music, creativity, or just laughter from joy. HE is my passion. What makes my heart come alive. In all I am weak, He is strong: He is my heart, my commitment, my comfort, my perseverance, my strength.
I cannot paint Him with words. He is so real. I know this is my purpose. To follow Christ."
Me <3
May the Lord pour out His love and joy upon you that you might live in the riches of Christ's grace!
| |
|
Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 2/8/2012
God telling me there will be no dating for virtually two years did not stop life.
So here's what happened, and what I've learned. (Don't worry, I didn't break the no new relationships rule.)
Shortly after I was accepted to the Race-within days actually-I was asked out by a guy I had a crush on in high school and had ran into year after year. "What do I say?" I thought as I ran through my list of feelings mixing with my priorities. Then it hit me, God was asking me to choose Him. Do I want to choose sweet time growing close to the Creator of the Universe while embarking on this great adventure of a lifetime? Of course! What could possibly compare? Being human, I still had to think hard on it to arrive at this thought. Then and there I decided I'd really choose, with my whole heart. I want God the most. I want His dreams for me the most.
That was only the first test, however. I had to rein in my thoughts of when I might meet someone; what did I think of this guy or that guy? am I ready to get married? will I ever be ready to get married...and so on. Habit breaking time. Growing time. I had to surrender over and over again. And over. Still.
Then God let me experience the awkwardness of DTR's, as CRU calls it. Define The Relationship. This usually includes vocabulary like "brother" or "sister" and "boundaries." Let's just leave it at that.
A cool thing about all the lessons on boundaries is that this is something I really do need for the rest of my life. Isn't it funny how God can just use everything for more than one purpose? He's so smart. Love it.
Then we have Valentine's Day right around the corner, again. So of course, every church and CRU event is on dating and relationships. Maybe if we're lucky, a mention of singless. Oh the irony...
But I'm learning a ton! Not just about dating, marriage, boundaries and even myself (especially myself), but about relationships with everyone in my life. God's been using my roommates, my family, and every person in between to teach me about loving people. Sometimes that means you set a boundary like space. Sometimes that means laying down your pride to take care of someone's needs. I've been learning so much that I just wanted to share with you the footnotes of the recent wisdom I have gained.
We should all be more concerned with becoming the person that we would want to marry, rather than racking up a list of qualities we want in Mr. or Mrs. Right. What matters most anyway is that person's constant pursuit of Christ out of love. That's why they call the rest "negotiables." Be the person that the one you're looking for is looking for. Go ahead, read it again.
I'm not gonna go through all of Q & A's we covered at church or the 10 things to look out for in college ministries, or even the ways of DTRing we learn in CRU. I just want to hit this home: Christ. He's it. He needs to be the complete center of your life. He holds everything together. If He is the center of your life, your relationships (all of them), your job, your classes; then you don't need to worry about whether or not to Kiss Dating Goodbye or consult an expert on relationship rules. You won't ask all the questions like how far is too far? Is God calling me to date this person? Is God calling me to break up with this person? If you are pursuing Him, you will gain His wisdom. If you are listening to Him, He will lead you. If He is the center, your relationships as well as your singleness will be blessed. Becuase both are good things!
So instead of freaking out, obsessing and overcomplicating; let's get back to holding each other accountable in our walks. Challenging one another to surrender every aspect of our lives. And worrying more about our own character than someone far out into our futures. Love God. Love others. I think it really is that simple. I mean, I didn't see an ellipse where Jesus was speaking...
Don't take my word for it, or even my example. Pray! Get into THE word. And hold ME accountable for sticking to this.
Love you all! (Just not like that ;)
Sources:
Philippians 2:3-8
2 Peter 3:9
Galatians 5:15
Colassians 1:17
Ephesians 5:3
| |
|
Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 2/6/2012
Sitting here listening to my new country obsession Hunter Hayes (me liking country was not part of my plans for life) while the oven preheats, and I just can't nail down a thing to write about. I can think of at least five! Here's my attempt to let you in on the past week and try to connect the dots somewhere along the way. Stay tunned.
Light.
Hiding an alterior motive, I asked my dad what he thought it meant if a person saw a light surrounding someone. Being a minister I thought he'd have some insight. Well like usual I couldn't squeeze much out of my dad, so I was left with the interpretation of my first few thoughts.
I was just doing my job on a typical afternoon (restuarant) when one of the cooks (I love them all!) asked if he could tell me something that might sound strange. He then told me that sometimes while I am working he sees a light around me. Like I'm glowing. What!?!? First off, that's really cool. I can't explain to you what it meant or why God revealed that to him, but this is what it meant to me.
I had struggled with believing I was really being a light in the workplace. Something I struggled with at my last job. I sometimes felt that if I wasn't having any spiritual conversations or helping people with their lives than I wasn't making an impact. Then I would remember what a friend and former racer told me, (Paul Bell anyone?) if you carry the Holy Spirit inside you, your presence alone changes a room when you walk into it. Power and light. So there you have it. I was encouraged in the coolest way! Better than I could have come up with. Remember, in everything you do, do it for God's glory and you shine.
Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
| |
|
Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 1/24/2012
A cool blue night displaying a dessert skyline lit up by twinkling stars under a glowing half moon-
The first streaks of color; orange, pink and yellow, painted across the promise of the rising sun-
Powerful stretching redwoods laced with rich green leaves reaching toward the heavens-
Mighty yet gentle turqoise waves bouncing across the steady surface of a soft ocean on a cloudy day-
A sharp massive rock seated at the base of a tall, strong mountain firmly standing it's ground-
Peace
Joy
Hope
Comfort & Love
Strength & Power
I cannot remember when it changed, maybe it was Saturday night itself, but it has changed indeed. Let me begin with an explanation.
These past days, weeks, months, I've faced internal struggles I had begun to lose hope would end anytime soon. Then I reached a point where all I had left to do was repeatedly cry out to God for a change, for help. It was then I realized how completely helpless I am even in my own walk with the Lord. I cannot even love God on my own. How strange it is to think of asking the one you love for help simply to continue loving them.
I needed to learn that I was, yet again, depending on myself. I needed to lay myself down before the feet of Jesus. I needed to accept the invitation to crawl into the Father's lap and rest in His arms. I can say I'm beginning to understand. Beginning to live this way. But I know now that each day I will face the same challenge and decision to live by grace out of the life I have recieved through His death and resurrection.
So then stuff started to happen. I found myself at a friend's Bible study suddenly overcome by amazing peace. I just basked in it. With that peace came this feeling of love and joy that only God can give. It was wonderful. I can't express how wonderful. I was able to just be in His presence. Just be. Then it started to happen. Visions?
I'm still not sure I believe it myself. Though I know I haven't experienced anything like it before. I began to see, one by one, over the next couple hours a series of what I can only call visions of the pictures described above as well as many others. I saw pictures and felt their meaning, I just knew. Which, now that I think about it, is ironic. Just days ago I expressed to someone that I didn't want an equation to explain the magnitude of God's love, I wanted to be taken to the top of a mountain at sunrise to stare at the wonder of His creation. God knows the inner workings of our hearts.
I also saw images expressing God's love toward me in ways just for me to understand.
While we prayed and spoke truth I saw several images that went along with the truths being spoken about God, the battle and the fight against our old, dead selves. One in particular showed a blind folded man in the dark taking swings at a limp dead body just because there was a voice shouting out that the dead man was fighting back. Just like the Enemy tries to tell us we still have to defeat our old selves. But we are a NEW creation! Victory is ours. Now.
There's actually a lot more to share about for the week. Wow, come to think of it, I'm almost blown away how it all happened so suddenly yet stealthly. In perfect timing. God is good, and He is faithful. He always has a plan, He always has it under control. And He is so worthy of praise and worship. Oh, and His love is the best. It's worth pursuing Him every single day. That's what I've learned this week. Poof! As I aptly like to say when a mind gets blown. Just wait, it has a better affect in person. Til next time-
P.s. Thank you for the prayers everyone! Love-
| |
|
Posted in Life Before the Race by Leah Johansen on 1/19/2012
Long over-due, I am getting the truth out. I've avoided frequent blogs because of the many months yet to go, the belief that no one is interested in reading, and my perfectionism I rarely admit is still around. Truth is, maybe I've just been discouraged? Instead of some catchy lines or creative writing, I'm just going to tell it like it is: What have I been up to? What have I been feeling about the race? Thinking about life?
About two months ago I was fired. It was painful. Hurtful. I felt like I was a casualty in a situation where there was no one to stick up for me, so I got the short stick. On the bright side, I felt an amazing peace even though this was my favorite job so far in life. You see, I had been asking God that week if He really wanted me to stick around. I was tired of tring to be a whitness some place I was completely ignored. Tired of not mattering in a place where nobody worked their hardest. I wanted a location change. A transfer. I got what I wanted. God has now blessed me with a job I love working as a cashier/waitress/busser/all front house jobs- at a place called Zoe's Kitchen, where I get to eat lot's of my favorite food! It's a blessing.
Recently my parents offered to pay for the last class I need to wrap up my general associates before heading to the race. I started this week! Blessing. Though I'm not sure when, how or if I will finish school (I want to), this gives me a peace of mind and closer for now.
Struggles. I'm struggling to put up healthy boundaries with my family, yet take advantage of our time together while I'm here. It's stressful and often accompanied with heartache. I want so much to be close to each family member, yet each day is a struggle to trust one another and move past the past. I don't always understand why we can't just love eachother like I see in the movies. It makes me long for heaven where love abounds.
Life with my roomates has been up and down as well. I've learned a lot though; about myself and others. God certainly works everything out for a reason and for good to those who love Him.
Finally, to describe where I'm at right now, I need to tell you about a little lady in the dirt. Have any of you heard of Heidi Baker? I just read, "There Is Always Enough" by Heidi and her husband Rolland. Books the will rock your world for 500? You bet. Here I am reading about hundreds of abandoned orphans, tens of thousands of storm refugees, and thousands suffering will illness and demonic forces. As they are given homes, food, healed by the thousands, loved, brought to life in Christ- I just cry. Not because I am sad for them, not because I am so greatful for their salvation. I cry because I have a deep longing inside me to be so united with the Holy Spirit that my life is entirely devoted to humbly lying in the dirt while God uses me to change the lives of thousands. I am only alive in Him. I am desperate for a life that is so full of Him that there is no room for anything else to enter in. I want to live a life of purpose. A life doing real work that will last, for the kingdom. I need to be there.
Heidi Baker describes herself as not a miracle worker, a modern day Mother Teresa, or even a devot servant of God, though all are true. She calls herself a little lady in the dirt. She says that once you have seen Jesus' face, you begin to love like otherwise impossible. She must die to herself each day, and compelled by love, she changes lives.
I will certainly be writing more about Heidi and what God is teaching me through her story. But for now...
I am presently battling guilt and lies telling me I'm not good enough. That I don't read my Bible enough, pray enough, or love God well enough. Sound filled with grace to you? Nope. I tell myself it's coming from me because there have been times where I was so on fire I couldn't pray enough, or worship enough, or get enough of the Word. But then there I am judging myself, focusing on me, and not the Cross. It's a battleground out here even before the race has begun. So I want to ask each of you for your prayers. I don't like asking for help, but I need it. And if you've gotten this far in my extra long blog today, then would you also be willing to spare another minute to pray? Pray that I may understand His Love. His Grace. That I may believe it. Pray that I may trust Him fully and completely. Pray that the Enemy's attacks fail utterly. And pray for my team, for their encouragement and strengthening of their faith. Thankful for you each,
Leah <3
Ephesians 3:16-19 "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's people to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."
| |
|
Posted in General Posts by Leah Johansen on 12/4/2011
THIS blog was supposed to amaze you with bright colorful pictures, poignant words, and a calling deep to your  . However, due to technical difficulties, you'll instead be getting just Me; writing to ask you if you want to change the world?
11 Countries. 11 Months. __ Lives Changed.
With a squad of fellow believers on fire and called by God, I will be traveling around the world following Jesus into the homes of the broken and streets filled with the lost. There, He will heal the sick, set the enslaved free, feed the hungry and set souls ablaze with the love of Jesus. I am blessed to be called along for the ride. For me, passion knows not one name but one, that is Jesus.
HE is going to change the world. Save the world. HE will do it with or without ME, with or without YOU. But He is going. In fact, Jesus is already there.
People ask, do you believe in something worth dying for? We ask, do you believe that you have already been died for?
So here it is, the invitation: Will you come alongside me in this journey? Will you support me through prayer? Encouragement? Will you follow my blogs through 11 countries and be inspired? Would you be willing to financially support me? $1, $30, or $15,000? God will be provide, He is faithful. But I am asking you if YOU want to be a part of this great adventure He has called me to, to Change The World. Interested?________________________________________________
1 Corinthians 4:20 "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power."
| |
|
Next 10 Articles >>
|
|
|
